The One Sour Memory Of Bangkok - Dear Luna

Dear Luna,

My time in Bangkok has come to an end, and I am finally in Chiang Mai after a nine-hour night drive. And there is one thing I know for sure, is that I definitely would love to go back to Bangkok, but this time, I wouldn't mind staying more in the centre where the nightlife is. 

Although Bangkok is filled with many fabulous memories, with the floating market, the Grand Palace, and riding around with the TukTuk, there is one memory that was formed from Bangkok that I will not forget any time soon. I'll give you a hint of what this memory could be, which is something that many women face from time to time. 

Now, I must say, riding the TukTuk, listening to music with the wind blowing through my hair, and sailing across the floating market, swapping money for food really made me realise how I will never be in this position again --- being twenty-three and travelling and exploring. Yet, once in a while, I am reminded that I am still the same person as before the travelling started, and one of the areas of who I am is being a woman. 

During our first full day in Bangkok, the tour we went on was the train market and the floating market. When we were being picked up, our tour guide told us he was going to pick up another person whose hotel was just down the road. Meeting W, the guy whose hotel was near to ours just made me and cousin think cool another person, not someone we will go to The Stranger Bar with. 

Now throughout the six hours, the tour flew by due to all of these wonderful new experiences, with one of them being given the chance to try sticky rice with mango. But there is something important to remember. Now, W, mentioned to this older Australian gent on our tour that he had been to the Philippines and during his time he had added many people to keep in contact with them. I was not part of this conversation, but my cousin and I heard it all as they were sitting in front of us on the drive back to Bangkok. 

Now, this drive made him ask us if all four of us wanted to use the taxi as our hotel was close by, we agreed, it was cheaper that way. As we all waited, we spoke about what we were doing that evening, the Australian man was going to this rooftop bar, I mentioned how Erin and I were planning to come back to the MKB Centre, as these famous actors from a Thai series she has watched were going to be there and after The Stranger Bar, whereas W hadn't a clue. 

It was the taxi back where I first felt slightly uncomfortable. There I was, sitting in the middle between my cousin and W, legs touching as there was no other space, and here was W showing us these lovely pictures of the Philippines. I mentioned how it looked like Ha Long Bay, and my cousin agreed. And within a second and only having shared five or so sentences with one another, W makes his way onto WhatsApp, pretty much forcing me to add my contacts as he said 'add your number'.

Perhaps, this was where it could be seen I was leading him on, but I did not think I could say no because it would have made everything awkward, nor did I think I could give a fake number as he would be able to tell. And, so, I added my number under the name, Sarah + Erin, as I did not want my cousin to be put in this position as well. 

I didn't hear from him again until we came back from our night out of laughter and feeling free. W wanted to know if we were out and getting drunk. I messaged back, stating we had ended our night. What is funny, is that before I messaged, my cousin and I had a conversation where I changed the 'Hey' to a 'Hi' as I did not want to come across as flirty.

Then I received another message, one where he called me hot out of the blue. I ignored him, hoping this man in his thirties, who was now acting as a boy in university, would apologise by tomorrow morning. Instead, I woke up with him asking if I wanted to walk from my hotel to his to spend some time with him... we all know what that meant. 

With that, I admittedly blocked him.

It made me question, why oh why do guys automatically think kindness means they are going to get laid? And what did I truly do to make him believe that I had any interest in him? I know what it would be, people would say giving the number, but I have already explained and I know many other people would understand as they have been in the exact same position. And I understand people will question how there isn't any harm in trying, and no there isn't, but if there haven't been any signs suggesting that someone is open to getting to know someone else, then you shouldn't really be asking, especially asking something along the lines of the messages I received.

I was never looking for a friend from him, but what is not nice is once again being seen as an object. As if we are just here to be used whenever a man needs pleasure to be released. 

But enough about that, because I am having the time of my life travelling Asia, and I will not be pushed down due to the misogynistic behavior that is very much still living in this world. 

Until next time, Luna ❤️❤️❤️