One More Month - Dear Luna
One more month and then all of this is over. In a month, I will be back in The Netherlands and all of this will simply be a memory where I question myself whether or not it was all a dream or was it real. If I am completely honest, the other day, I was looking forward to skipping this whole month and being back home, and yes, I am looking forward to going back home and not living out of suitcases. To be around family. Catching up with my friends. Going to concerts. Partying until the birds decide to remind everyone that morning has once again arrived. To be running for the last train home. To cuddle up with my dog and cat.
But as I write this blog, I realise how much I do not want that.
There is something freeing about travelling. It's as if everything bad that happened to you in your home country never occurred, or it happened to someone else. Those memories that bring a sour taste to your soul do not feel as if they are drowning you as much as before because you are not where they happened. Travelling makes you into a different person. An adventurer. An explorer. Anything you want to be.
But does that mean when you go back home, you just shift back to who you once was?
Perhaps that is why I do not want this last month to go super fast, I need it to go as slow as possible because when you travel, the people you meet have no idea who you are, and you can make a whole new story about yourself for only them to see. But also because I don't want to return to the type of person I was. The type of person who simply gives up just as things begin, who self-sabotages themselves because they rather stop whatever is happening than end up being hurt; even though those actions actually end up paining me because I am not evolving in anything, I am simply staying the same.
Maybe the reason travelling around Asia/Australia entered my storyline was to help the plot move, to help me see the potential I actually have if I try and not give up. Because these past three months have taught me one thing for sure, is that I have more strength than I realise. All of this was once a plan, a dream, something I visualised and hoped for. And guess what. I did it all. This all became a reality. If I can do that with travelling, I can for sure do it for my career. Writing. Publishing romance and fantasy novels. It is all doable if I put my mind to it, just like I did with travelling, and not turn my back to it all because of the worry of the pain it could bring to me.
People often say you have two versions of yourself. One of you in the country you live in. And the other one of when you are travelling. The reason for this is because the one of you at home normally is the serious one, whereas the traveler you, is the person who is more likely to take risks and do things they never believed they would.
What if I put them together? Serious and risk-taking. Serious about my career, but open to putting myself out and taking those risks, because without them, I'll be staying in one place and never growing.
Now, I am quite looking forward to coming back home. It's as if I can feel that I am entering a new era. But I will still be truthful. I do not want to stop travelling, I don't want it to come to an end because it means another part of my life is over. This travelling dream was something I had thought of for over ten years. Sometimes I wish I could be thirteen again, back at the beginning of thinking about the idea of exploring Asia, because this whole journey of dreaming, planning, and experiencing each country has rather been exciting.
But I still have one more month. One more month of trying new food. Going on adventures. Being amazed by the beauty that these countries, which I will one day hopefully return, give.
Until next time, Luna ❤️❤️❤️
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